Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
