It's Friday. Sex?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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