have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
