what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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