so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
