I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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