I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
