I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
