I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
