party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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