I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
