I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
