The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
