Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
