please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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