I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
