I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm passing your future prison.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
