I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Someone shattered a urinal.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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