He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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