My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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