I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
