I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
