that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
