Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
