So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
