only if we run a train.
done.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
3pm strippers are depressing
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
