If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
