Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
