Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
