I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
