hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
