Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
