Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
