New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
