I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
