Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
