Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
