Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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