I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
