I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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