WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
