dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So much Jack, so little girl.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
