CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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