literally had 100 drinks last night.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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