Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
my liver is dry heaving
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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