Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
