Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
