Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
