Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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