Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
